God’s grace.
That’s the thought of the day.
That’s been the thought of the day for me for the past week.
When I look at my life, all I see is a human desperately in need of something in life: love, control, affirmation, fulfillment, peace, hope.
I find myself running after each of these things in my life in some way, shape, or form.
And though I find temporary satisfaction in one or more of these things, I learn that I return to the beginning of a new loop.
Desiring and hungering more.
Because of this, I see myself falling short every day.
I see my imperfection so clearly. Whether it’s maintaining friendships, finishing my work, cleaning my apartment, cooking meals for myself, following after God, or living life day by day, I see so many ways I couldn’t meet a certain standard. Things I should’ve improved on, but became after-thoughts that were never acted upon.
I live in desperation for something more, but never reaching an end.
And with that, my mind returns to daily truths I need to rest in and find peace in. How God’s grace is what sustains me daily.
Nothing I do has been my own.
My life should’ve ended at the age of 0.8 years during an incomplete heart surgery, but by God’s grace, I was rushed for surgery again for a complete fix.
My life should’ve ended when I was rejected by the first girl I had serious feelings for, broken hearted and lost with my own emotions, but by God’s grace, I was able to draw nearer to Him and grow more firmly in my relationship with Him.
My life should’ve ended when I ended my first relationship, depressed because I was torn by my feelings of inadequacy and love, lost because I could not fulfill the promises I had made when I started a relationship, and empty because I had ran away from everyone because I was too broken to know what was the right thing to do. But by God’s grace, I am alive right now, and am being restored daily through forgiveness and the hope that Christ has to give to me.
And I see this grace emanate everywhere. Wherever I am filled with unbelief, I am reminded of the Gospel that dispels lies and restores life with truth.
When I desire control...
The Gospel reminds me that I am not in control, but God is. A sovereign, all-powerful, loving God.
When I feel unworthy...
The Gospel reminds me I am worthy, and that my identity is found in Christ. I am made in the image of God. A temple of worship for His Holy Spirit.
When I feel weak...
The Gospel reminds me I am strong through Christ. Desiring for lighter burdens, He gives me broader shoulders to carry my sufferings.
And so much more...
The Gospel is everything, as is God’s grace.
I hope that my heart can continue to go to Him with honesty and humility. I know I will fail, but God’s grace is there to restore me and I continue to be sanctified through Him daily.
That’s been the thought of the day for me for the past week.
That’s the thought of the day.
God’s grace.